I Get Tired

I don’t smoke
I don’t dip, I don’t chew
I won’t even hold the hands
Of girls that do

I don’t believe “this Bud’s for me”
I’ve never tasted wine
Lips that have touched alcohol
Will never touch mine

I do my best for my religion
But being good enough
For God’s a full time job
And I get tired

The TV is verboten
‘Cept for TBN
I burned my devil music
Just to prove I’m heaven’s friend

I won’t watch a movie
Rated over PG
My mom checks all my magazines
For hints of nudity

I do my best for my religion
But being good enough
For God’s a full time job
And I get tired

I never double park
I give my blood at the school
I’m very pleasant to my neighbors
And I keep the Golden Rule

I render taxes to the IRS
I pay my debts on time
For each dollar that I earn at work
I give the church a dime

The more commands I learn
The tighter the noose on my neck feels
They say I’ve found rest in Him
But it wouldn’t seem so yet

I do door to door campaigning
To diffuse religious views
I did a “Walk-a-thon for Jesus”
In my Reebok running shoes

I’m most devoted to devotions
Never miss “My Daily Bread”
I tried to memorize my Bible
But the words fell out’ve my head

I need a rest from my religion
This being good enough
For God’s a full time job
And I get tired

Gene Helsel