Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford

Houston, we have a problem. When Saturday Night Live is dispensing better wisdom on money than either the government or the Church it might indeed be time to buy gold or convert our hard-earned dollars to some stabler currency.

P.S. I love Steve Martin's facial expressions in this sketch.

Monty Christie

Forty years later this sketch is still quite funny. Enjoy.

True Feminine Happiness

A.W. Pink once noted, "None of us break the laws of God. Rather we break ourselves upon them." When God through Paul exhorts women to be into their husbands, into their children and into their homes (Titus 2:4) He has their true happiness in mind. The Feminist revolution promised happiness to the women who would forsake God's ways. But statistics are increasingly indicating that it was a vain promise all along, as noted in the following blurb from the June 26 edition of "The Week."

"By virtually every measure, American women are better off today than they were 30 years ago, said Ross Douthat in The New York Times. They are “wealthier, healthier, and better educated,” they can leave abusive husbands and sue sexist bosses, and they enjoy “unprecedented control over their own fertility.” And yet, a new study by University of Pennsylvania economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers found that over the past few decades, women’s self-reported happiness has actually decreased, “both absolutely and relative to men.” Is the culprit the decline of the two-parent family and traditional sexual mores? Or is it the famous “second shift,” in which women still do most of the housework even as they work outside the home? Whatever the explanation, the reality is that the feminist revolution has “delivered women to greater unhappiness.”"

And let's be honest, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." The woman, as the hub of the family wheel, cannot but affect all of the family. Like the "root of bitterness" of which the author of Hebrews speaks (12:15), a woman's unhappiness "defiles many." May God restore his people to the true happiness of His ways.

Our Buttons Bursteth, Yea, Verily

Our lovely daughter Rachael has long been a piano and vocal virtuoso but is now branching out into choral conducting. Click here to view her in action at SPU's year-end concert last week. A-mazing!

As Arrows in Your Hand...

The very first command in all of Scripture is "be fruitful and multiply." Our negelect of this command is beginning to bear some bitter fruit. To a large degree the Church has been infected with the world's view of children, and thus infected, is losing her vitality and influence. According to the Bible, bearing and raising children is a martial exercise, and a tactical necessity for victory. Please join me in praying that we will once again consider our children to be divine "blessings" rather than "burdens to be borne."

Knox Presbytery Spring Tour 2009

I am currently on day three of a whirlwind tour of Knox Presbytery (CREC) of which I am currently serving as the presiding minister. Here is the schedule, I'll post pictures and comments as I have time:

April 28 - Holy Trinity Church, Colville, WA
April 29 - Christ Church, Spokane, WA
April 30 - Trinity Church, CdA, ID
May 1 - Christ Church, Missoula, MT
May 2-3, Christ Covenant Reformed Church, Billings, MT
May 4, Emmanuel Chapel, Helena, MT
May 8-10, The King's Congregation, Boise, ID
May 11, Christ Covenant Church, Enterprise, OR
May 12, Trinity Church, Tri-Cities, WA
May 13, Christ Church, Moscow, ID
May 14, Trinity Reformed Church, Moscow, ID

We also have a church in Grande Prairie, Alberta, that, Lord willng I will visit sometime this summer.

Riverdance Revisted

Remember the first time you saw Riverdance? I do. Wow. But then Michael Flatley went out on his own and at some point started believing all the reviews about him and his amazing feet. As Moses observed regarding prosperity, "...Jeshurun waxed fat, and kicked" (no pun intended.) So here's an homage to Flatley (sort of) and the best "father/son" act I've seen to date. You can enjoy the video here.

Niiiiice!

During the 1970s and early 1980s, Larry Carlton was a busy session musician in Los Angeles, making up to five hundred recordings a year, including albums by Steely Dan, Joni Mitchell, Billy Joel, Quincy Jones, the Partridge Family, and Charly García's Clics Modernos. His loopy, dazzling guitar work on Steely Dan's "Kid Charlemagne" from their 1976 LP The Royal Scam has been listed as the third best guitar solo on record by Rolling Stone Magazine.Enjoy.

My Skiing Buddy

Thanks Bekah!

Out of the mouth of babes...

The text is a little small, so here's some help with the dialogue between Jason and Roger Foxtrot:

Jason: "My bank desperately needs and infusion of capital"
Jason: "I was hoping you could give me one or two million dollars."
Jason: "I know you probably can't really afford that. But I figure you could just put it on a credit card.
Roger: "Remind me why we encourage our kids to watch the news."
Jason: "Dad, some guy from Visa's on the phone."

You Move Me

Yesterday we moved one of our single saints into to her new apartment and doing so brought two scripture verses and a proverb to mind:

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

“Many hands make light work.”

Special thanks to: Gary, Emily, Andrew, Chloe, Doug, Jessica, Josie, Melanie, Felicity, Sarah, Rodger, Lynn, John, Minky, Becky, Jacque, Thomas, Samuel, Tom, Daniel, Caleb, John, Betty, Justin, Derek, Luke, Drew, Bob, Darillyn, Ken, Xander, Ashleigh, Andy, Brant, Tage, Simon, Brooke, Doug, Abigail, Madelyn, Megan, Bart, Coreen, Lucas, Patrick and Conner (forgive me if I left anyone out!)

Special Props to:
- The old guys (no names) for moving stuff around despite various physical limitations/maladies.

- Daniel and Caleb (who played a bruising game of Rugby the previous day.)

- Gary (just home from a weekend away with the Eastmont track team.)

- John (for building, sharing and maneuvering his amazing “tunnel” of a trailer.)

Favorite quote of the day: “I think that trailer is bigger than my house!” (Bart looking at John’s homemade trailer.)

I count it my highest joy and greatest privilege to serve the Lord in the midst of a communion composed of the most joyful, thankful, cheerful, self-sacrificing and hardworking folk that I have ever had the pleasure of associating with.

C'mon and take a free ride, free ride...

The unseasonably cold and rainy weather this Spring has prevented me from getting out on the ol’ mountainbike as early as I usually do. But yesterday, one of my biking buddies, Doug Milner, coaxed me into trying a run up Number 2 Canyon (my favorite training ride) on the western edge of Wenatchee. It was an ambitious ride for the first one of the season , but I figured, “Hey, Doug’s a dentist and could perform CPR (or an emergency root-canal) if necessary.” So we gave it a go. As George Costanza was wont to exclaim, “I’m back Baby!!!” But even more to the point, as my late Uncle Rex used to say, “Won…der…ful.”

Jolly Good Show Man!!!

A mile wide and a half inch deep...

Ladies, please be kind to us...

You Get More of What You Subsidize...

"AIG, which has already received $170 billion in taxpayer money, paid $165 million dollars in bonuses. They say the bonuses were justified because the company made an extra $170 billion dollars last year." (Jay Leno)

Who Better?

Former presidential candidate John Edwards spoke to Brown University last night to a crowd of 600 people. I think the topic was “From Hair to Paternity.”

He spoke to the students at Brown about poverty and morals. Who better to lecture young people about poverty and morals than a rich personal injury attorney who knocked up his mistress? (Jay Leno)

Bernie "Made-Off"

Bernie Madoff pleaded guilty to $50 billion in fraud. He told the judge he was deeply sorry and ashamed and the judge said, “Oh,” before sentencing him to probably the rest of his life.

I feel bad for the victims, but the guy’s name is “Made-Off.” Seriously — that’s not a red flag?

That’s like hiring a guy named “Bernie Hepatitis” to serve you clams. (Jimmy Kimmel)

The Wise Guys

I've been teaching guitar on-and-off for about 25 years now. But I have never had the privilege of instructing anyone like the four "little dudes" that I am teaching right now. Andy, Patrick, Caleb and Jordan are the funnest, hard-chargingest, go-for-it students that I have ever strummed with.



Last Friday night we played at the open-mic night at Cafe Mela here in Wenatchee. It was our second (and best) outing. We played the Monkees' "I'm a Believer", Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down", Larry Norman's "The Outlaw" and finished with CCR's "Proud Mary" (with an artistic nod to Ike and Tina Turner's arrangement of this classic number.)

For now, at least, we are calling ourselves, "The Wise Guys." Mostly because we're not very. But, all things considered, we're having a whale-of-a-good-time in spite of ourselves. Rock on.

Poem: I Love Death!

After "The Wise Guys" played at Cafe Mela last Friday evening, we were followed by a couple of acts of the "head-banging-scream-the-lyrics-whilist-looking-like-death-warmed-over" variety. As our abortion mills, homosexuality and self-sterilization testify, we are a culture increasingly captivated by death, barrenness and ugliness. But it is nonetheless startling to hear people actually singing about their love for death, etc. with microphones, to real people, acting like they really mean what they are "singing."

Anyways, I came home inspired to write a song about loving death and its evil partners-in-crime. I am hoping to sing it soon at Cafe Mela as a parody. My only fear is that the crowd might miss the "parody" aspect my offering. Oh well...

Note: I've used a nom de plume (pen name) so that I can deny writing this "song" later on.


I Love Death!
Blade Houston

I love death, my favorite color is black
I’m actually looking forward to my first heart-attack
Don’t wanna see a bright light on the other side
I'd much prefer a chasm dark and ten miles wide!
I love death!

I don’t like chrysanthemums or anything that’s green
I love the clang and scream of massive metal machines
Apocalyptic barrenness is what I most adore
Shriveled, dried, parched and fried, and rotten to the core!
I love death!

Good and kind, and nice and neat are asinine and boring
Wicked, slimy, coarse and grimy set my heart a-soaring
Malevolence and violence, malice and ill-will
Grease the rails that guide my soul into the depths hell!
I love death!

I love pain, my favorite pastime is alarming
Cuz I love to see the ruin of the things that I am harming
Break and smash, rip and slash, obliterate and burn
Skewer, pierce, bleach and dye, agitate and churn!
I love death!

I love death
Long live death!

I love death
Long live death!

not!

"Seven Pounds" Poll

The answer to the "Seven Pounds" poll is "WSMOV" for "William Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice." In the Bard's play, a Jewish usurer, Shylock, contractually obligates a merchant named Antonio to forfeit "a pound of flesh" should he not be able to repay his debt by a certain deadline. In the movie, Will Smith's character decides to surrender seven "pounds" of his flesh in lieu of seven debts that he feels can never repay.