What Kind of EccesiAnimal Are You?

Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." And this being true, it is often helpful to have some direction or criteria as we do so.

According to Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA, “People who come to church need to be assessed so that the church leaders can identify who they are and what they need.” So the question is, “What kind of ecclesi-animal are you?”

Horses are vibrant leaders who pull a lot of weight and run fast. Horses need to have character, sound doctrine and agree with the vision of the church.

Colts are emerging leaders who need training, testing and opportunities to lead. If properly broken in, a colt can be developed into a horse.

Fish are non-Christians who are spiritually lost and often not actively looking for God. Fish need a Christian friend to lovingly introduce them to Jesus and his church.

Eagles are skilled leaders who are being developed within the church with the express kingdom purpose of leaving the proverbial nest and leading a ministry elsewhere, such as missions work and church planting.

Mules are faithful workers who dependably and continually do whatever is asked of them in the church. Mules need to be thanked and protected from burnout.

Cows are selfish people who wander from church to church, chewing up resources without ever giving back to the church until they kill it. A fence needs to be built around the church to keep the cows out.

Squirrels are people who are generally liked because they are nice, but they rarely do anything meaningful. Squirrels need to be put to work in the church.

Stray Cats are socially peculiar loners who linger around the church. Stray Cats need a friend to bring them into the church and an opportunity to serve other people so that they can be meaningfully connected to the church.

Rats are people who appear to have the potential to have a fruitful ministry, but they lack dependability, humility, or maturity. Rats need to be rebuked, and if they do not repent, they must be strategically ignored until they commit to no longer being a waste of time and effort.

Sheep are people who have legitimate needs that require patient and loving support. Examples of sheep include widows, orphans, and those who are seriously ill or fighting addictions. Sheep need to be loved and served.

Ducks are disgruntled people who continually quack about whatever they are unhappy about. Ducks need to stop quacking, or the pastor(s) must go duck hunting before the ducks drown out everyone and everything in the church.

Wolves are false teachers whom Satan sends into the church to devour Jesus’ sheep. Wolves need to be quickly identified, rebuked, and if they are unrepentant, they must be shot before their false teaching destroys people in the church.

Snakes are evil people sent by the Serpent on a mission to destroy the church through anything from sexual sin to starting rumors. Leaders must stomp on the heads of snakes before they bite people and infect them with deadly venom.